We Are All More Than One Version of Ourselves

Being a therapist is an important part of who I am, but it is only one part. I’m also a mother, wife, daughter, sister, aunt, and friend. Each of those relationships brings out a different part of me, and each has shaped the way I understand myself.

I think about this a lot in therapy because none of us shows up as just one version of ourselves.

We may feel confident in one relationship and uncertain in another. We can be the person everyone relies on and still need somewhere to be taken care of ourselves. We can know exactly who we are in one part of our lives and still be figuring ourselves out somewhere else.

The roles we have can shape how we see ourselves.

Some roles come naturally to us. Others take time to grow into. And some can become such a big part of our identity that it can be difficult to remember who we are outside of them.

I think there is something meaningful about getting curious about all of those different parts of ourselves.

Which roles feel most like us? Which ones have changed us? Which ones do we sometimes lose ourselves inside of? And who are we when no one needs anything from us?

There does not have to be one definitive version of you.

I don’t think understanding yourself means arriving at one perfectly defined version of who you are.

We change. Our relationships change. The things that matter to us change. Different parts of us become more or less important during different seasons of our lives.

Therapy can be a place to understand all of those parts of yourself and how they fit together. Not necessarily to decide which version is the “real” you, but to become more curious about the person you are across all of them.